Handling Non-Academic Issues In School

Some parents may feel that a number of major hurdles in their child’s life up to this point have been masterfully handled. Stressors like finding the right daycare provider or bandaging cuts and bruises are now a distant memory. However, as your eighth grader transitions to ninth grade, more alarming and important topics require consideration and discussion between adults and the teenagers they are parenting.

Why It Matters

Good health and well-being are vital for lifelong success.
Choosing good health and positivity isn’t easy for preteens and teens who struggle with anxiety and depression. While healthy minds can typically make a conscientious decision about the attitude they will use to manage the hurdles they may face each day, many types of health disorders get in the way of that for many youth today. Schools, parents, educators and health professionals share the ultimate goal of helping students achieve healthy and successful futures.
Building strong coping strategies now will last a lifetime.
Today’s youth face an onslaught of troubling distractions every day — media influences, bullying and youth violence, sexual promiscuity and its related diseases, teenage pregnancy, substance use and abuse, mental health and sexual identity stressors. Some people might say teens face a battle every day, but by employing some positive parenting practices, your student can develop an arsenal to face today’s distractions, while also preparing for future parenting of their own children who may face an entirely different set of distractions.

What Your Student Can Do Now

Make positive connections.
By feeling connected to family, school, friends and organizations, your student has a sense of being supported and cared for and is therefore less likely to experience negative health outcomes from sexual risk, substance abuse, violence and mental health. The Centers for Disease Control published findings that suggest connectedness has lasting effects into adulthood.
Identify and evaluate the influencers.
Most people find it difficult and draining to be engulfed in negativity all the time. A series of poor grades and wasted effort can put a large dent in your student’s self-confidence. Negative people can do the same thing. If your student can identify an influencer who isn’t a positive and loyal supporter of the successful outcomes that are envisioned, then a difficult decision might have to be made to cut ties with that person, group or organization. Conversely, more time should be spent with the positive supporters, such as school counselors. As stated by Iowa school counselor Sheila Kinyon-Jackson, “School counselors are one of the best resources available to students. With knowledge, compassion and training, school counselors are on the front line every day meeting the social emotional need[s] of our students.”
Participate in health programs the school offers.
Schools play an important role in helping students establish lifelong healthy behaviors. Research by the Centers for Disease Control shows that health programs at schools reduce health-risk behaviors — early sexual initiation, violence and substance use — and have a positive effect on academic performance. It’s true that healthy students are better learners. Schools have a primary role in creating and fostering a safe and healthy educational environment.

What Your Student Can Do Later

Foster positive connections.
As your student’s connections are strengthened, they should expand the support network and promote inclusivity by adding other people or organizations. Volunteering fosters connections with others who share a common goal with the added bonus of feeling a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Ask for help.
Your adolescent’s well-being is your primary concern, and your relationship with each other is one of the most important in their life. Consistent and positive interactions establish a bond and make open communication possible. When your student seeks your help, make recommendations and offer assistance, but also know when professional help is needed.

What You Can Do

Know what and who is influencing your student.
Pay attention to information your student’s school sends you. Counselors and educators work in partnership with you and will share any critical concerns about your student and the school environment. Attend any educational opportunity the school offers, especially if it’s about a sensitive or hot-button topic. Listen to what other parents and your student’s classmates talk about. Also listen closely when your student shares stories about friends, teachers and daily happenings. While it may be exasperating keeping up with the “who-is-dating-whom” game, your student craves the attention you give the conversation.
Help your student develop coping strategies.
Take advantage of teaching moments. A scene from a movie or TV show may offer the chance to ask your student what they would do in the same situation. Suggest other scenarios or reflect on one from your own childhood. Talk about how you handled it or what you would do differently if it happened to you now. Experience and maturity play large roles in developing coping skills, but so does practice. Encourage role-playing and help your student form confident responses and reactions to various scenarios.
Model positive engagement and interactions.
Perform a self-check on your interactions with other people, both inside and outside your household. Are they different and if so, why? Take note of the verbal and non-verbal habits you model. Are they different depending upon the person to whom you’re speaking? Make it a point to be courteous and respectful to whomever you meet and say goodbye to the familiar “do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do” mantra.
Know where to find professional help.
School counselors can make referrals and offer recommendations for professionals and resources when certain situations are beyond a parent’s expertise. Engage them in your student’s situation and create a network of support within the school for your student’s sake. Educators and counselors are as equally invested in your student’s success as you are. You may also speak to your student’s health provider or a mental health professional if you have concerns.

Next Steps

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